Stupid attempt at home invasion?

I'm sitting here online minding my own business near midnight last night and some fool comes POUNDING on my door and repeatedly MASHING my doorbell. Dog goes utterly berserk in his crate.  So I pick up my gun, go look out the window, and it's some strange dude (NOT a neighbor) who starts yelling about needing to be let in to make a phone call to some family members to pick him up because he's broken down and  walked all this way in the rain and he's soaking wet and he needs help blah, blah blah... (It's not raining, doufus! It's been dry here all day!)  El Jefe wakes up from the racket (he was sick and sleeping under the influence of NyQuil) and grabs his gun and meets me at the (closed) door and informs stranger (through closed door) he isn't letting ANYONE in this late at night.  After a bit of repetition from both parties, and cursing by the one on the porch, the stranger leaves. El Jefe calls the local PD, but it's after hours so he gets the "Call 911" message. We hate using 911 for something that obviously isn't life threatening, but we'd really like to get the officer on nights (it's a small town, there is only one) to blow through the neighborhood, so he calls, and they tell him that someone else down the next street has already called for the same reason. So at some point the neighborhood will get a drive through (yea!).

At this point El Jefe informs me of an article in the local rag about the same thing happening near here last week... and we go clear the garage, and the cars in the driveway, and turn on EVERY freaking yard light (so glad I got them all replaced on Thursday - everything works now) all around the house.



Did this creep think I'd just open my door for him 'cause he sounded upset and bossy?  That I'd be likely to help some rude jerk pounding on my door and mashing my bell at midnight?  Why didn't he have a cell?  Everyone else does!  And claiming he was soaking wet when it hasn't rained all day?  S'up with that?  If he's so moronic as to fall in the lake, did he think I was going to let him come in and drip on my white carpet?  I think I'm offended that he thought I'd be dumb enough to fall for any of that! 

This house is going on the market in two weeks. I SO hope we can blow this joint quickly - and move to where we are miles off the highway instead of spitting distance from it.. and if we weren't trying to sell it, I'd be drawing chalk outlines on the front porch with a big ol' sign sayin' ANYONE BANGING ON THE DOOR AFTER 10PM WILL BE ADDED TO THE ARTWORK IN THE MORNING!!!

Xa Lynn