Sunday, May 8, 2011

Stupid attempt at home invasion?

I'm sitting here online minding my own business near midnight last night and some fool comes POUNDING on my door and repeatedly MASHING my doorbell. Dog goes utterly berserk in his crate.  So I pick up my gun, go look out the window, and it's some strange dude (NOT a neighbor) who starts yelling about needing to be let in to make a phone call to some family members to pick him up because he's broken down and  walked all this way in the rain and he's soaking wet and he needs help blah, blah blah... (It's not raining, doufus! It's been dry here all day!)  El Jefe wakes up from the racket (he was sick and sleeping under the influence of NyQuil) and grabs his gun and meets me at the (closed) door and informs stranger (through closed door) he isn't letting ANYONE in this late at night.  After a bit of repetition from both parties, and cursing by the one on the porch, the stranger leaves. El Jefe calls the local PD, but it's after hours so he gets the "Call 911" message. We hate using 911 for something that obviously isn't life threatening, but we'd really like to get the officer on nights (it's a small town, there is only one) to blow through the neighborhood, so he calls, and they tell him that someone else down the next street has already called for the same reason. So at some point the neighborhood will get a drive through (yea!).

At this point El Jefe informs me of an article in the local rag about the same thing happening near here last week... and we go clear the garage, and the cars in the driveway, and turn on EVERY freaking yard light (so glad I got them all replaced on Thursday - everything works now) all around the house.

Did this creep think I'd just open my door for him 'cause he sounded upset and bossy?  That I'd be likely to help some rude jerk pounding on my door and mashing my bell at midnight?  Why didn't he have a cell?  Everyone else does!  And claiming he was soaking wet when it hasn't rained all day?  S'up with that?  If he's so moronic as to fall in the lake, did he think I was going to let him come in and drip on my white carpet?  I think I'm offended that he thought I'd be dumb enough to fall for any of that! 

This house is going on the market in two weeks. I SO hope we can blow this joint quickly - and move to where we are miles off the highway instead of spitting distance from it.. and if we weren't trying to sell it, I'd be drawing chalk outlines on the front porch with a big ol' sign sayin' ANYONE BANGING ON THE DOOR AFTER 10PM WILL BE ADDED TO THE ARTWORK IN THE MORNING!!!

Xa Lynn

Thursday, May 5, 2011

God's judgment on your musical taste...

I've been stuffing this in the dark cave of unthinkable thoughts and unfeelable feelings for over a month now.  Well, that's not solving the problem.  So here goes.

I looked around church on Sunday and realized that of the 120 or so people present, only 8 of them were under 40 years old.  .  Do you know what that is?  That is the sign of a dying church.  Do you know why that is?  In our case, it is largely because certain people in our church have elevated their personal taste in music to the level of core doctrine worth effectively de-fellowshipping the associate pastor over.  Considering that, I expect I will eventually be de-fellowshipped myself, either for my foolishness in expressing my views on this, or because I will soon have to bow to my conscience and sing the special with my tambourine and a drum track, in one last ditch effort to prevent any visitors from being aurally bored and tuning out before the sermon starts, rather than being energized to focus their attention on its lesson(s).

Young people visit our church, find the music far too traditional (may I say dirge-like?) for their tastes, and move on, never to return.  The associate pastor attempted to remedy this by bringing some slightly more contemporary music into the service.  I'm not talking about drums or guitars or tambourines.  I'm talking about recently written praise hymns, arranged in the most traditional fashion possible... that is to say, with only piano and clavinova as accompaniment, and slowed tempi.  This was enough to provoke the folks who think that drums are demonic, guitars are going to cause members to begin fornicating in the aisles, and tambourines are an offense against the Holy Spirit, despite the fact that every week included at least as much traditional music as contemporary.  

May I say that I am appalled by the arrogance and ignorance demonstrated by the weekly complaints?  Horrified by the results?  Completely at a loss as to what I could or should have done to prevent this?  At even more of a loss as to whether a remedy is even possible at this point? 

Do I need to insert all the relevant verses in the Bible about how we are to worship enthusiastically with song, AND musical instruments, and DANCE (oh, that horrifies some of you doesn't it, that a worshipper might actually be moved by the combination of music and lyrics to sway to the beat, or clap... in syncopation?).

Before you tell me that all the attention should be on the words and none on the music, let me ask you, if you heard Peter's sermon (Acts 2:14-39) in a completely expressionless monotone, would you even be paying attention by the 25th verse?  Would you be cut to the heart as the original hearers were in verse 37?  Or would you be bored, distracted, disinterested, annoyed?

Those are precisely the feelings of all those young visitors who find the staid, funereal, traditionally arranged hymns to be a pseudo-musical monotone.  Not exactly spreading the Gospel, is it?  Instead, it is constraining the Word into a narrow little definition that doesn't challenge you.  You are comfortable with your self-righteous definitions, and the young are being lost because of it.  I am horrified and ashamed.

Xa Lynn